I dashed over to Costco during my lunch hour to pick up some prescriptions (my co-pay was $170 — Yikes!) and was surprised to see at least four older men and women (65+) who had very young children with them, clearly caregivers. One older couple had two very lively little boys that were almost too much for them to handle, especially in a store with so many distractions.
I’m not sure what I think about that. I was fortunate to only work part-time when my children were very small, and I was grateful to my mother and in-laws when they watched my children for me, but it wasn’t a regular thing. I used daycare and preschool, even when we were in Chicago and had to drive miles to get to them. I recognize there can be extenuating circumstances, such as single parenthood and unemployment, that can make childcare a real financial drain. But is it fair or even appropriate to ask older parents to take on a second career as a parent?
I marvel at stories of grandparents who, when their children stumble or fall, take on the care of their grandchildren, with great personal satisfaction. In some cultures, grandparents do a great deal of the child-rearing, and I’m sure everyone benefits.
The old joke says that the reason why women over 50 don’t have babies is that we’d forget where we put them. (I’ll pause here for laughter…) I have a new little granddaughter that I dearly love, and I’m looking forward to the day when she can come to our house to play while her parents are gone. But I’m not sure I’m equipped physically or mentally to do it on a full-time basis. Any thoughts?
April 3, 2008 at 5:27 am
I’m really familiar with this older parent of little children syndrome. My sister Paula, single and never married, adopted a 3 week old baby girl. My niece is now 4 and my sister probably feels that she has aged 10 years in that same period. Although I’ve wondered sometimes about how you parent at grandparent age, seeing the love between my sister and my niece is just beautiful. And Paula has found a great support network of other midlife parents of little children.
As for me, I’m manifesting becoming a grandparent one day. My niece has me in training.
April 7, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I live far, FAR away from my daughters and often, I wish I could spend LOTS of time with my grandchildren, I WANT to be an influence, I love my grandma so much and learned things my mother would never have found time to teach me…..but…then…whew…I stop and catch myself. Oh gawd I love not having to grab kidstuff when I go out and about, I love eating what I want and when I want, I love the freedom I have after all those years of mothering. Some of my kids have stumbled and fallen, and still are, and maybe I should step in – but I’m not quite ready yet to give myself up (again).