Merlot Mom, a fine site I have followed since I started hanging out here, is back after a noticeable hiatus, and admits that she wasn’t just too busy to blog:
…I also left to pull myself out of the debilitating internal competition I was having with Sitemeter, Feedburner and Statcounter, not to mention you other bloggers out there (you know who you are) who get dozens or hundreds of comments for every post no matter how large or how small). To be honest, that is just hard to take.
Indeed, it is, girl. Once I was introduced to stats checkers (thanks to some of YOU), I found myself blogging more and enjoying it less, and actually came to the point where I was more concerned with my stats that with what I was blogging about. And, if that’s what becomes important to you, it’s discouraging.
As I said to ByJane in an earlier conversation, it sometimes seems like the only way to get a following out here is to engage in a lot of breast-baring exhibitionism, sprinkled liberally with snarky comments and a dollop of dirty-laundry airing. I hate to disappoint anyone, but my life isn’t that dramatic and I HATE SNARK. (Which, of course, means I have no future in cable news.)
But then, the better angels of my nature crawl back onto my shoulder (I keep knocking them off) and gently remind me that I didn’t really embark on all of this a year ago to be read. I started this to become part of an interesting, compelling and dynamic phenomenon, and to try to find out exactly what I thought about it. And I don’t need Sitemeter to tell me that, on those points, I’ve succeeded. The big bonus has been meeting so many interesting and articulate bloggers, some of whom have kindly stopped by long enough to comment and encourage me. Thanks.
So I guess I’ll keep nattering away. For now. You too, Merlot Mom.
January 8, 2009 at 3:24 pm
the thing is… the comments are just so addictive aren’t they? It’s funny, I’m not quite the blogger I envisioned when I first started. I use my blog like a daily writing journal. I don’t always think it through, I just sit down and start pounding on the keys. Somedays it’s better than others. I wonder about quantity vs. quality. And about how revealing I should be. I love getting a window into so many different worlds. Thanks for letting me peek in your windown. I like your blog a lot!
January 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I know what Merlot Mom is saying. I have also reached that point of disappointment and have decided to stop. For me, it is all about the interaction back and forth. The give-and-take of it doesn’t seem to be there anymore. My site existed for 2.5 years or so.. and now it’s time to hang it up and walk away. For me, the fact that something I write can sit for 4-5 hours with no feedback at all is enough to prove to me that the primary reason I blog is no longer realistic.
~*
January 9, 2009 at 6:57 am
I found that when I (very recently) stopped caring about how many comments and visitors I had and what search terms were being used to find me and where my traffic was coming from and what could I and should I be doing to get more, more, MORE (and stopped caring that there were people out there who have been blogging for a much shorter period of time who seem to have a much larger readership than I do) I started having a lot more fun blogging, which is why I started in the first place.
January 9, 2009 at 8:50 am
I rarely even check sitemeter and usually when I do, it’s to see if my husband has read one of my posts yet since our Tx I.P. shows up but not my Okla. I.P. since I suppose is the one I was using when I signed up in the first place.
Having said that, I also just write to write. I have no aspirations of being the next Pioneer Woman or Dooce (God help me) and I’ve found such an embracing community of diverse individuals who have become true friends. I look at it as cheap therapy and great social interaction.
January 9, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Hey, Ms. Meta, it’s the other MM here. It’s nice to know others feel the same way I do. Sometimes it’s hard to keep your head straight without pulling away for a bit. Especially in the social networking age. In many ways, I was a lot more productive before all this!
January 9, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Good points, all, especially MLS’ “cheap therapy and great social interaction.” I do find myself here when I want to figure out what I think, AL, just like I did in my college journals. And, Chani, I’m sorry you’re thinking about quitting!! Your site is so beautiful!
January 9, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I wondered if that was how you were feeling. I remember way back last summer you wrote that you woke up every morning with new ideas for a post and I was envious!
Envy is the disease of blogging. But it is also the enemy of writing. I don’t look at my stats — ever. I know they will be depressing. (Now again, though, I google myself, that is my Duchess self, to see if I am still more “famous” than Trollope. I am. That’s quite depressing all by itself.)
I blog to practice writing. I also blog to practice a little self revelation, which I do only with difficulty and the help of copious amounts of red wine. I know I write well but I also know that my writing lacks warmth. The wine loosens me up just before I pass out.
Another thing I know (about life, not just blogging) is you have to show up. I tell my kids most of success is just showing up. It’s good advice even if I don’t follow it.
Petite Anglaise is an interesting example. She isn’t blogging much now and her posts are of pretty low quality (too many people told her how good she was before she had learned to be her own critic), but for a lot of her bloggy life, and certainly early on, what she wrote was — simply engaging, though no one would call it deathless prose. She had a way of letting you enter into her world. She had an instinct for revealing just enough. She was telling a story that was different enough from most people’s experience to be entertaining. She was never pretentious (at least not in the early days — then she wasn’t even trying to write deathless prose) And she wrote almost every day.
I expect Dooce was probably the same, but she has removed her early posts and her current world is not interesting to me. Too much poop and throw up, thank you, dog and human.
As for your blog, I think two things. First, no one else I read makes me want to write essays in the comment box. When you write thoughtfully, you make me think. I admire that.
Second, and despite the above, it seems to me your basic blog problem is there are about a zillion people out there who are ready to tell us about the latest trend, and how to wordle, and who Obama has on his facebook, and even why we should worry about our pensions. All that other stuff. And they are probably always going to be more famous than you. And people will pay more attention to them.
Only you can tell us about sneaking magazines in your Dad’s store. About life in the chicken factory. About marrying off your son. Trekking around England with your husband. Why you bought that ridiculous pair of shoes.
You can write about all that without being unduly or embarrassingly self revelatory. Or at all snarky. And you can even throw in the other stuff now and again to keep us on our toes.
Okay. That’s probably not the blog you want to write and I’ll shut up, except to say that since you aren’t famous, and you are interested in your stats, you have got to comment a little bit more. How else are people supposed to find you amongst the millions of blogs? If you comment on someone else’s blog they will stop by. It’s only polite. And then they might just see you had something interesting to say.
I hope I haven’t been offensive. One more glass of wine and I will be banning myself from commenting anyway.
Bottoms up.
January 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Of all the friends I have made blogging, Duchess, you are the greatest treasure. Keep drinking —and writing.
January 10, 2009 at 12:27 pm
The Duchess is untoppable. So–ditto.
January 10, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Gosh. Thanks! I didn’t even know I was on the list.
January 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I have to admit that I do look at my stats but don’t feel that I’m obscessed with them. I like to see who has been there (from my family who doesn’t comment) but mostly I am just amazed that people read. My numbers are not impressive but that I have any readers at all makes me happy. I for one am glad you decided to stick with it. I’ve seen signs on other sites where they are clearly changing their style simply for stats. I think it’s a lot more fun to just be ourselves and see what happens. I’m with MLS that even if no one reads, it’s still therapeutic.
January 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Ms. Meta,
I hope you keep at it. I always think you have very insightful things to say, some of the most insightful I see. Others are amusing, or crazy, or foul-mouthed or outrageous, on and on, but you have a style all your own. I count on you to be thought-provoking, down to earth, and so very much yourself. It feels ‘real’ to me and I appreciate that.
And, I think that being yourself is what keeps your motivation up. It’s hard to keep being someone you’re really not (ie, changing style or content to what you think your audience wants) week after week after week. And the pressure is on if you have tons of people reading…then you worry about losing them, blah blah.
My blog indulgences my own love of writing and my snoopy nature. I love thinking things over and writing about them, then if people comment it’s all the better because then I get to think and write more! But, it’s a pretty satisfying activity in and of itself.